it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
