Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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