direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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