i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
