WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
