I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
