After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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