My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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