when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Michael Bay diarrhea
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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