I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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