Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
