I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
