Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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