are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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