Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
