I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
