I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
