I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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