dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
