I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Four minutes until I can fart!
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
should my penis look like a turkey
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
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