just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
