Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
