And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
