that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Randomize
