So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
