Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Acid is not a monday night drug
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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