Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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