Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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