I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
