3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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