he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
