I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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