i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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