Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
