Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
