Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I supernannyed him into submission
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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