Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
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