I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
