what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize