Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
