I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
