Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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