CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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