OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
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