I wish I could teleport
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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