just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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