It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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