what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
