What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I think my moral compass just broke
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
