Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
