All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
