He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
