Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You need a sexual gate keeper
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
