i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
