It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He's a Shit stain on my heart
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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