Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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