I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
