So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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