I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He felt like a one man threesome
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
