shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
