My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
