i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
