There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize
