But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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