I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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