At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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