I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
