forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
