it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Sorry my hands just texted you
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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